.nom de plume.

Getting real intimate for Instagram.

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:15:18 -0400

Getting real intimate for Instagram.

Truth.

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:56:49 -0400

Truth.

Ugh.

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:46:00 -0400

All the internet hate on ABR’s new song and failing to live up to expectations makes me sick. While it’s inevitably offensive because it’s my husband’s work, I think the ignorance is what really gets to me. I mean, you’ve listened to one song, and you have the audacity to critique the entire album, the talent of the members, and the progression of the band as a whole? On what cause? Teenagers are silly.

Everyone in the industry knows you put out a safe song for your first single. If I’m being honest, I feel like Fault Line gets lost in the mix. That’s simply my humble opinion. Everyone likes different things. But it should say something about how incredible the rest of the record is. Bottom line: Even though I’m not interested in the metalcore scene, or whatever the kids are calling it these days, these dudes are beyond talented. It’s obvious. And I’m so grateful and humbled to call them my family. <3

While I’m ranting, I guess I should mention that you can pre-order the album here: http://www.merchdirect.com/augustburnsred I’ve pre-ordered, despite already having the album, simply because I respect and love these guys so much and they deserve all of the success that comes their way. End rant.

#tbt The hubs and his glorious beard post Christmas show. I love...

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:29:18 -0400

#tbt The hubs and his glorious beard post Christmas show. I love him and I love his versatile facial hair.

I have been listening to this album incessantly for two months...

Wed, 15 May 2013 01:51:54 -0400

I have been listening to this album incessantly for two months now. (For someone who could care less about the music scene, this is a statement in itself.) I will always support my husband, but after knowing of the band for seven years, I can unbiasedly say that this record is incredible. It’s innovative and progressive, yet they remain true to their roots. It’s a work of art. You can pre-order it here: http://smarturl.it/augustburnsred

I miss you. La Ville-Lumière. #paris

Tue, 14 May 2013 03:15:22 -0400

I miss you. La Ville-Lumière. #paris

Love this throwback the hubs posted on Instagram. <3

Mon, 13 May 2013 23:45:59 -0400

Love this throwback the hubs posted on Instagram. <3

💗

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:15:08 -0400

💗

This guy.

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:15:01 -0400

This guy.

That’s a good looking crew.

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:14:54 -0400

That’s a good looking crew.

My hubs is the ultimate babe. #hottie #marriage #inspiration

Fri, 03 May 2013 21:43:54 -0400

My hubs is the ultimate babe. #hottie #marriage #inspiration

So excited to see this guy tomorrow!! <3

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:30:47 -0400

So excited to see this guy tomorrow!! <3

"Writing, at its best, is a lonely life."

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 00:42:42 -0400

"Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.":

Hemingway’s acceptance speech for his Nobel Prize in 1954.

#tbt Oh, happy day!

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:33:30 -0400

#tbt Oh, happy day!

My favorite place on earth.

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 01:39:34 -0400

My favorite place on earth.

Mars & Venus: My Recent Thoughts and Conclusions on Gender.

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 18:30:37 -0400

The past few days I’ve been helping out a family friend who’s going through a difficult time. Her engagement was broken off abruptly and both parties are now left confused and trying to piece together how it all fell apart. As I told her, the reasons just didn’t seem weighty enough to justify this decision. After hearing all the facts, it seemed to really boil down to a lack of understanding.

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” That seems to be the universal description used to explain the relationship between us. I think it’s absurd. I find it to be the biggest cop out, and a ridiculous excuse for refusing to understand each other. We are not polar opposites, but we are certainly, and sometimes vastly, different.

It took nearly two years into my marriage until I recognized that gender does play an enormous role in understanding your significant other. Many would dismiss this point, perhaps argue that we are all people, we all have a heart and a soul, and that gender is sort of an afterthought. I absolutely agree that we are people first, and we can empathize with each other regardless of our psychological and anatomical differences. However, I’m convinced nearly all of my frustration or times I’ve failed to understand my husband resulted from my ignorance of his unique design.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe your identity is solely found in your gender. And I don’t agree with some churches’ approach to pressure people to submit into traditional gender roles. But I do feel that gender is more complicated than we understand, and we often fail to pay attention and appreciate the specifics of this subject.

Every issue that my friend mentioned about her fiancé was directly connected to his role as a man — a faithful and trustworthy partner, sensitive to her emotions, a provider, a leader for their future family, etc. Her concerns were the typical, run-of-the-mill worries that almost every woman feels about her man at some point. On the other hand, all of his issues had to do with her womanhood to some degree — a support system, a helper, someone who would entrust him with her well-being, etc. The most interesting part of this to me was the complete breakdown in communication. They had prided themselves on their productive, transparent communication, but once they began to address their concerns about each other and discuss their feelings about the dynamic in their relationship, it all crumbled.

I explained that this was probably the most common hang-up between all couples, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. They were so caught up on the insignificant that they refused to see the actual problem. More so, both are equally convinced the other is in the wrong. And their incriminating theories are rooted in how they believe the other should behave according to gender roles.

It’s been a tumultuous week for these two, and the most unfortunate part is that this heartbreak may have been avoidable. I can’t help but wonder how many relationships have been stunted or cut short due to this problem. And that leads me to think of all the people in the world who have constructed a “perfect spouse” in their minds. I used to be one of them. And I think about how they constantly feel lonely or disappointed when they can’t find someone to live up to what they believe is true.

We may never fully understand the person we choose to share our life with. We are infinitely complex beings, and men and women are indeed different. But we often make the horrible mistake of pinning our differences against each other, and using our own ideals as ammo, when we should be celebrating our differences and choosing to learn from one another.

To the men I’d say: be patient with us. We have one thousand thoughts operating in our minds every minute of the day. (This is supporting evidence to my personal theory that women get crazier with age.)

To the ladies: let’s be gracious with our men. We might never fully comprehend certain things, but we have our shortcomings as well, so we certainly can empathize with the struggle.

Our reluctance to understand each other is what keeps us divided. And a clever idiom will never justify that. I think we’d all be better off if we just renounced the Mars & Venus perspective and chose to live by this one instead:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

-Kris Luhrs

Wisdom. Writing. Whiskey. Revisiting old books. These are a few...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:23:16 -0400

Wisdom. Writing. Whiskey. Revisiting old books. These are a few of my faaavorite things!

California, 1950.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 21:24:55 -0400

California, 1950.

Siberia.

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 23:20:05 -0400

“Sometimes I went so far as to thank destiny for the privilege of such loneliness, for only in solitude could I have scrutinized my past so carefully, or examined so closely my inner and outward life. What strange new germs of hope were born in my soul during those memorable hours! I weighed and decided all sorts of issues, I entered into a compact with myself to avoid the errors of former years and the rocks on which I had been wrecked.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky

Photo

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 23:05:03 -0400